Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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