He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
