I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
