dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
two words: eviction party
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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