Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
