K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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