i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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