using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize