she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
