Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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