we're blogging at a bar
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
