this just has baby written all over it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
