Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
