You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
