I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
