I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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