She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
