Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize