i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
