The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
