I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
