we have officially lost it.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
