just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
FUCK WHALES
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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