i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
