one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
