fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
