I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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