We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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