if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize