the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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