She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Pants are for mortals
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
