the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am spending my child support on dildos
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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