so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have demons in me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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