she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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