In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize