I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
