Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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