I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize