I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i think i have two assholes
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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