I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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