The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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