it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
