Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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