It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Sacagawea was the original milf.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
