Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize