i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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