WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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