You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
