with your own penis?
I hate your face
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
