Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
