talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
