Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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