I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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