You just made me feel so damn special
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
