just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
