Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
