High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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