i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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