Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
