This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
