Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
