i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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