rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
