i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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